![]() ![]() ![]() In this style you opt for the ‘You Win - I Lose’ option. You have little desire to win the conflict in fact you would rather give in than make a big fuss so that everyone can move on and go back to business as usual. Because conflict distresses you, you will do anything in your power to make it disappear. If you have an accommodating style when confronted with conflict, you perceive conflict as an uncomfortable situation that needs to be resolved in a peaceful way as quickly as possible. So your ‘I Win - You Lose’ approach can be counterproductive. However, and maybe when you will least expect it, the grudge bearer will pay you back by undermining you in subtle ways, or confronting you openly when triggered. People can build and hold resentment over a long period of time. ![]() They likely will hold a grudge against you, and this will fester. The other person whose needs are not met will be upset, even if they do not share this with you. However the price you pay is a damaged or destroyed relationship. The advantage of this conflict style is that you get what you want in a quick and easy way and it is clear for everyone who is in charge. People see you as someone with little or no respect for others. Your communication style will come across as aggressive and intimidating. In this style you decide to go for the ‘I Win - You Lose’ option. You concentrate on your own needs and are less concerned with the needs of others. And because of your competitive nature, you definitely want to be on the winning side. If you have a forcing style you see conflict as a competition, complete with winners and losers. The styles are linked to animals and even though we commonly use more than one style, we tend to have a dominant one. ![]() However you will find that some styles deal more constructively with conflict than others and that the consequences for your relationship with the other person and for your relationship with yourself differ per style. It’s no use to judge people for their particular style. Your style may change depending on the situation you find yourself in or on the intensity of the conflict. There are five basic ways that people behave when they respond to conflict: In our response lies our growth and freedom’ ~ Victor Frankl In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. ‘Between stimulus and response, there is a space. ![]()
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